todays trg was ok i guess... not slack but ok lah... its good tohave pple to train with hu are arnd my standard lah... hmm and i guess i helped instigate something... hope tt it helped :) dunno... was trying to encourage justus today... cos edmund said he was abit demoralized cos he say hes always last... was remebering the times when i was last too haha... oops yah... its qt sad lah but at least hes willing to train to improve... see tts the kinda attitude we need haha... goot goot... hmm let pple know my feelings today... sorta lah... i dun think they will do anything abt it tho... somethings are just meant to be... but i really wish it din have to... u noe its like so bad i wish one of them would break up or soemthing... im such a selfish pig. but i dunno how long i can hold on like this... i think there must be something wrong with me or soemthing... i wish i was like marcus... able to keep myself away from such things and protecting myself frm this kinda hurts but im not and it breaks me. i dunno feeling really sad now... crying as i type this... i know i have God but He cant sit with me during breaks and walk arnd with me... feel more lonely than i have done in a long while... and my old frens... i dunno wad to say abt them... im going to give up soon i think... i think its cos im a fren tt pple go too to make them feel good and happy but not someone tt pple will share their lives with... i dunno lah... tml is another day... maybe without frens i can study more? at least i think im like getting closer to my teammates which is good... but i miss wad i had in first three mnths... frenship untainted by any stupid stuffs... hiahz ok just got off the fone with marcus haha... i sounded so depressed tt he called me... i guess hes right... the less u think the less u get hurt... so i shldnt think anymore and go sleep haha